the 2nd true thing i've ever said
July 23, 2004 12:00 pm
"Ohio Is For Lovers"
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
Put these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
are you and I gone?
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes. (Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonite and die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.
i got a little bruise on my ribs and its been steadily growing. i got nothing left to lose now, i've got everything left to lose now. its almost the hour, the day, the breath that started this little snowball rolling. its almost identical. the standard time is 1 year. he was right. he said everyone would realize im an asshole, and they would leave. kudos to the mountain goat then. well i got me a correct plan of action. im gunna carry out their ill-attempts, im gunna try it their way. im an asshole. im a fucking cocksucking bastard. so lets do it that way. lets do it that way. not gonna crack. not gunna hurt myself. i'll just be who i used to be. honest in the way where it makes them feel what i cant. they all call me a liar. well, hello. lets try it this way. let me touch my ice. i wonder if there is even a person in here. i do. cos all i can seem to do is freeze. i guess he wanted it that way. im leaving diaryland. i think i'll get me a livejournal. i think i'll get me the one thing i've always wanted. its not to be wild and free. its to be reckless. to be dangerous. cos slowly destroying yourself and all your relationships seems to be the way i do it, may as well admit it. im an asshole, im a liar, and i dont care. i honestly tried my best. but you know. if it isnt good enough, then why try? answer is; dont. so fuck it all. im going to just burn myself alive. its the best i can do.
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