fuck me...

in or out
05/11/2004 12:06 pm

written in my notebook may 9th soon to be may 10th 2004 on the bus home from paula's house.

ani goes around saving my life. she is a beautiful angel sent by god to rescue my soul. she goes around saving my pathetic (and newly bisexual) life. its weird seeing it on paper. so final. so final. i like girls. its true. i like boys, its true. but i do have a lot of issued with girls in the whole predator/prey kind of way. but girl (and girl parts) are so pretty, in a respectable way. beautiful girls with body hair and beautiful girls with mohawks. i was never raised to find traditionally attractive girls pretty cos i thought i was gay, so i dont. i dont think of stick-figure big-breasted barbie as hot at all. i dont know how to bring it up. i wish i didnt have to come out all over again. i heart 'in or out'. it is the bisexual anthem. i've been pulling out/cutting off my hair for days battling my inner demons/bisexuals. the small dog with the sign first told me that i was bisexual but i didnt want to believe him. i thought that liking girls meant being my brother. maybe it does. but i dont think so. i've never questioned my sexuality before now. it SUCKS! and not in a positive life afirming way. im on tony morisette's bus. hes so fabulous! i should probably talk to Pulma tonight. Oh shit, i forgot to call kevin and apologize for not saying goodbye. Grrr... hes so pretty.

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