A quick and painless disguise release no need to be serious when not a soul expects you to. not a soul not a not no no need to be real with people. except maybe one. i'm not the person everyone expects me to be just little old me. im not that kind of girl. maybe i used to be. maybe i used to. maybe i used. maybe i used people. infact i know i did. shades of grey were my reason. its not using them if we are using each other. getting off on technicalities and Acting like i was just being 'fair'. Acting like i was just 'being' Acting like i was 'just' Acting like i 'was' Acting like i Acting like i cared. I used to be too empathetic. Others before me. Always, every way. Hammers against wood turned it to apathy. You would think; myself before others. but what you fail to realize its much more like me and that it. scratch the surface sleep on the floor random catch phrases from random times random poetry maybe not so random at all? identity crises or, maybe not. just the normal phases a teenager goes through but i missed out on those years but i missed out on those but i missed out on but i missed out but i missed but i missed you but i missed you after but i missed you after i but i missed you after i cut but i missed you after i cut you but i missed you after i cut you off! but i didnt. i say i did but it was all chance and circumstance. i didnt ever plan on letting you in letting you back in as if you ever were before. and you are the reason Why I FELL! couldve been okay but you were gold i was quite the opposite. not sure who im talking to ulerie, matthew, most likely paula. mixture of the three. most likey paula. and i realized s/he just might not care and that breaks my plastic heart in more than one place, or maybe i just think it should the apathy, washed off me in the shower one cleansing bath. red water washes me clean. the first and last time. some might say the only, but i like the definite boundaries. just incase. technicalities always the default, technically.
technically
Saturday, Feb. 14, 2004 19:53
I proceeded to engage in levity
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