fuck me...

Saturday, Feb. 14, 2004 19:53

I proceeded to engage in levity

A quick and painless disguise


no need to be serious

when not a soul expects you to.

not a soul

not a



no need to be real with people.

except maybe one.

i'm not the person everyone expects me to be

just little old me.

im not that kind of girl.

maybe i used to be.

maybe i used to.

maybe i used.

maybe i used people.

infact i know i did.

shades of grey were my reason.

its not using them if we are using each other.

getting off on technicalities and Acting like i was just being 'fair'.

Acting like i was just 'being'

Acting like i was 'just'

Acting like i 'was'

Acting like i

Acting like i cared.

I used to be too empathetic.

Others before me.

Always, every way.

Hammers against wood turned it to apathy.

You would think;

myself before others.

but what you fail to realize its much more like

me and that it.

scratch the surface

sleep on the floor

random catch phrases

from random times

random poetry

maybe not so random at all?

identity crises

or, maybe not.

just the normal phases

a teenager goes through

but i missed out on those years

but i missed out on those

but i missed out on

but i missed out

but i missed

but i missed you

but i missed you after

but i missed you after i

but i missed you after i cut

but i missed you after i cut you

but i missed you after i cut you off!

but i didnt.

i say i did

but it was all chance and circumstance.

i didnt ever plan

on letting you in

letting you back in

as if you ever were before.

and you are the reason




couldve been okay

but you were gold

i was quite the opposite.

not sure who im talking to

ulerie, matthew, most likely paula.

mixture of the three.

most likey paula.

and i realized

s/he just might not care

and that breaks my plastic heart

in more than one place,

or maybe i just think it should

the apathy, washed off me in the shower

one cleansing bath.

red water washes me clean.

the first and last time.

some might say the only,

but i like the definite boundaries.

just incase.

technicalities always the default,


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