fuck me...

-Sour Milk-
May 17th 02

-Sour Milk-

I�m not happy, with my friends, with my life, and with my position. �My position is bad, my position could not be worse.� So I sit there and take their shit. maria, paula, rosie� I do not know. I envy Mel. She�s got Scoobies, even IF they happen to be slightly on the not-so-many side. But that is still better than maria and rosie. And paula, she is starting to annoy me. Oh well, what to do? I want to switch schools badly, but I promised I wouldn�t. I can say �mommy dearest� is actually� well�Mommy Dearest and doesn�t want to drive me that far, and it would be very difficult to get in, PLUS, tuition! Which is true. But it�d still feel like I was lying. Maybe because I would be leaving her with them! Who are as bad as her but she just doesn�t realize. Sure, I�d make new friends, maybe even Scoobies, but what if they were all Indian� (public school.) I would feel out of place. I have nothing against them of course, but still, I need common ground, no? All my life 90% of my friends have always been white. Could I handle an Indian Scooby Gang? Even I don�t know the answer to that one. And THAT is my only fear. What if I go and I am milky in a sea of chocolate. SURE� milk and chocolate go together� that is, if the milk isn�t sour. So what to do? What to do? I could always go to Joan and make friends there, but then he will be there, where the white population is overbearing. What to do? What to do? Pros and Cons? What to do? What to do? Fine, I�ll make a list, but then what? What to do? What to do?

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