fuck me...



Caelan & Erin
Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2003 3:49 p.m.



I don't know what to do with my life.

Of course I don't have to figure that out now, but I want to.

I have one of those "to do" lists somewhere. At the end it looked kind of like a grocery list; maybe I am overeating...maybe I don't give a flying fuck. I'm bored of life. I cannot wait to change schools. Not just to get out of the Triangle Program, but because I need change; and some sort of adventure. Erin says she needs new friends... I do too. Not saying I don't want to be her friend anymore; but I haven't been hanging out with Paula;Jessica;The Jo's or anybody else. I have friends; i just never see them. But I also need queer friends. Or Alternative friends. Or Queer Alternative friends. Maybe a queer boi. Maybe a boifriend. Maybe 7 boifriends. I have no clue what to do right now. I feel like my life is in a state of perpetual sitcom re-runs.


enter erin

Caelan: Hey grrrrrlfriend.

Erin: Hey Gurrrrlllfriend.

crowd laughs

Erin: Oh you. You're my lucky star.

Caelan: And you are my lucky fuzzy pink rabbit foot star.

crowd laughs again

Caelan: I heard you learned a new dance?

Erin: Yeah, you wanna see?

erin does wolf dance; caelan looks shocked; crowd laughs

Caelan: You are the living end.

Erin: ha! if only i could end my living.

crowd gasps then laughs because they do not realize she isn't joking


i just feel like i should be doing something with my existence instead of complaining about not doing anything with my existence. I haven't been to school in a week but it is a half day tomorrow so I am going to go. Patty called my house and threatened me over bell's answering service. She thinks its time I buckle down and be accountable; and she wants to know what I need to be a student. I know what I need, but I won't tell her. What I need to be a student? A school. Not a one-room-bathouse... oops... i meant one-room-schoolhouse. my badness. I decided to get dreadlocks. When My hair grows out I want them. Of course when I realize how prettiful my hair will be when it is long and black and straight i will leave it and say... SCREW DREADLOCKS! Of course I will cut it off and then cry because I cut it off! :'( I will be sad that day. "Don�t be so hard on yourself. You can�t get better �til you get worse. Just send a little smile my way. Don�t be so hard on yourself. You can�t get better �til you get worse, Just send a little love my way. And every second I spend waiting drags me closer to this grave."-Tegan and Sara



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